I’ve been thinking. Why do I engage on our beloved communication system called social media? Why do I share my favourite travel pictures, my nailed-it yoga asanas and my what I thought was an amazing looking dish on my Instagram? Some even get shared on my Facebook! Imagine that. Most of us do it. Anyone know why? In my opinion, partly because of our ego and I’m guilty too. But then, we’re all trying to make a living somehow and the fact that the power of the internet can help spread the word cannot be denied. So why do I feel self-conscious every time I post something? Never when it’s just a simple quote without my face on it. And usually not about travel pictures either. Ha. And despite feeling slightly uncomfortable, I keep doing it. Keep riding that social media wave. I actually aim to do it even more. Because I want the world to know what I do. (Do I really?!) Make people get to know what I have to share. But every time my index finger is about to hit that share button I get a small bout of anxiety. What if people hate it. What if people think I’m showing off. Or what if people unfriend me because they don’t what to see it. And within this very millisecond, my ego mind says: don’t care what other people think, just do it.
But where is my true and honest place in all this. Which side do I take. Do I just do this on a mission to spread the word and prepare for my future yoga studio… #dreambig? Or do I do it because I enjoy getting approval and confirmation from the people that I love? Through Instagram, Selina?! Really now? Or is my place in the offline world? Is that where I feel more comfortable? But then, I would be missing out on a HUGE opportunity to reach many people that maybe, dare I say, I inspire with what I’m doing or help them in some way or another. Take it or leave it, as one of my teachers always says. So technically, the people that want it, will take it and the rest will find something else they like and that’s totally fine too. So WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?
Especially in the “business” of yoga there is SUCH a fine line between the ego’s drive to share that handstand I nailed or how bendy I am and the fact that yoga is NOT AT ALL about the ego. In fact, it DOESN’T EVEN EXIST in the world of yoga. So where to draw the line? How to, despite the ego situation, still get your word out there, spreading your passion and your thoughts, your skills - not to be a show-off, but to inspire and eventually, yes, making a living out of it. But that’s secondary. It will come naturally and is essentially just a side-effect. Because I think, most of us need to eat, have shelter and access to the internet and these things still cost money in this world we’ve created.
So again, where is that fine line. I just can’t seem to be able to find it. And I find small comfort in the fact that so many great yogis out there use social media to reach the world and we all follow them. We’re all inspired by what they do, aren’t we. We follow them on their Instagram, their Facebook, their Snapchat, their Whatsoeveridontevenknow.
I feel like I have to justify to myself and even to the people that see my post and might wonder or disapprove, why I do it. But that’s something I need to work on for myself, ain’t got nothing to do with the others.
So why is it that my asana pictures get the most likes? And why is it that yogis that literally only post handstands and other funky arm balances and can do all sorts of different pretzels have the most followers? The world is a wee bit superficial, we know that, and I’m part of that too. Yet, I don’t really want to. Don’t really feel it’s right. But then again, I haven’t completely separated myself from my ego (just yet?) and my ego does like a good looking picture that just happened to capture that one particularly great moment and it wants to share it with the world.
And I reckon a liiiittle bit of ego is needed to survive in this world. Especially when I don’t want to hide behind a big corporate name, three screens and a headset telephone anymore. I want to be me. And I want to be THAT and attract the people that care and love it. So, that still leaves me with the in-between. The gap between me and those people. How do I reach them. Will they just find me? Even without social media? Will the universe send them to me if I act from love? I trust it will. But this might be going to the extreme. Hey, don’t have a website with pictures of yourself or talk about yourself and what you do. WHERE IS THAT FLIPPIN’ FINE LINE?
And as always, I don’t even know exactly what my point is. It’s just good to write it down. Because maybe there is people out there that are confused about this too. I guess it’s just about finding where your own personal fine line is in this big confusing world of being present.. ONLINE.
‘You begin to feel on a cellular level
that things are unfolding exactly
in the way that they should.
At the rate and timing they need.
You start to trust the process.
You relax from the endless pushing
that most of us learned at birth.
On some fundamental, mysterious level, you just let go.
Not with that bitterness people feel
when they fear the (ego’s) dreams won’t occur.
Not with passivity as right actions do get shown.
Rather you relax into this calm curiosity
about where the flow might go.
You’re detached yet somehow riveted
by how the story will unfold.
You feel spaciously receptive
and open to what wishes to come.
You give it all room to blossom.
You trust the highest,
one way or another,
eventually will unfold.
You know that with God as your Source
you needn’t cling to any one plan
And you’re not clutching a list of desires,
pushing the ego’s agenda even more.
When you’re in cycles of quiet and waiting,
you catch your breath
knowing the wheel again will turn.
You rest because as the right actions get revealed
a lot will arise to be done.
You wait for the signs and the timing
rather than rip open the cocoon.
You trust that delays might be welcome.
You trust that delays can be good.
You trust that delays are all perfect.
And you stay present
just to witness
your own birth.’
- Tosha Silver
Follow me on Instagram @lotusandapple
I enjoy studying, creating, exploring and most importantly eating nutritious food and balancing my life with yoga.